Drywall Eating Simulator

Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to… bite something?

The Struggle Is Real 

Drywall Eating Simulator is a physics-based 3D adventure carefully constructed to simulate the delights of late capitalist life. Engage in small talk, hit your KPIs, and maximize value for shareholders. And when you can’t take it anymore you go and eat some drywall.

Wall Buffet 

Peek into your neighbor’s apartment, navigate a retail nightmare, or schmooze your way through a pretentious art gala. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and where there’s a way, there’s drywall! Smash through walls not just to clear a path, but to cope the only way your body knows how. 

Small Talk is Overrated 

Annoying tech bros, gamer rivalries, and strangers constantly feel the need to overshare. Every interaction will raise your stress level. Your patience? Gone. But you know what’s always there for you? I’ll give you a hint, it rhymes with schmywall. 

But Like…Why Drywall? 

Why not drywall? Life is filled with everyday pressures and stressors. Your boss is a nightmare, your friends keep ghosting you, politicians are driving you nuts — but not drywall. Drywall doesn’t ask questions, it doesn’t gossip, it doesn’t judge you, and it doesn’t bore you to death with small talk. It crumbles only when you need it to. And in that crumble you find yourself…or at least find a tasty(?) distraction.

Features

• Discover the delights of late capitalist drudgery!

• Multiple levels with a colorful cast of fellow humans to talk to!

• Delicious drywall!

But also…

• Avoid various nosy NPCs trying to get up in your business…

• Don’t let your anger get out of control…

• Keep your secret safe…

*Drywall Eating Simulator is a work of fiction. Please do not try this at home, you will probably damage your teeth.